My valentine’s day consists of continuously reloading tumblr, so I can read a new cute note in the little heart. It’s sad. I guess it’s just another example of how little things in life, can truly mean the big things.
I am the type of person who likes ideas of things. For instance, I like the idea of dancing in the rain, but as a girl who had to bike through the rain her entire life, I hate getting out of the wet clothes afterwards. I like the idea of having a food fight, I hate having to clean up the mess afterwards. I like the idea of being shut up with a kiss, but I hate being hushed in the middle of an argument. I like the idea of getting flowers or other romantic objects, but I don’t know what to do with it afterwards. So I am terrified that I fall in love with someone like me. Someone who falls in love with the idea of things. With the idea of me.
A crush lasts for 4 months right? And if you pass that, you’re in love? But when exactly do those four months start? The second you meet the person, or the second you see him or her do something silly and think ‘Damn, I am in love’? Because the truth is, by that point you’re probably in the middle of it. So I just keep restarting my four months. Each day I think something like that, something that could make me feel in love, I start the four months over again. Hoping that one day it’s all over, and he was just a silly crush. But the problem is, I’ve been one day in love for a while now. And it doesn’t seem to stop.
If someone asked me “What fictional character would you want to be in a relationship with?”, I’d say a combination of Peter Pan, Aladdin, and Flynn Rider. And I realised something. All these boys have something in common. They all take the girl on a journey. One to neverland, the other two show the princess the world out of the castle. So I guess I just want someone who shows me a world I am not familiar with and shows me the beauty of it.
I always wonder, is it possible to fall in love with a stranger? But then I think, you’re not a stranger, because I see you on the street, and feel like I know every part of your being. But then I remember, I don’t even know you. Which means you are a stranger. And you can fall in love with strangers. Because what I feel for you, is just crazy.
I am a short girl. So when I feel an emotion, I feel it bad. There isn’t enough space in my body to have more emotion than one at a time. So when I am scared, I am terrified. When I am happy, I am excited. When I am mad, I am about to explode. And when I love, I do so without boundaries.
I have read the books you suggested, and listened to the music you wanted me to listen to. Not because I fully agree with your opinion about them, but because I then have another reason to talk to you. Even though it’s just to say; I thought they were great.